Sweet Surprises

We returned safe and sound from a GREAT trip to Arizona! We were able to visit all of my extended family at my Grandma's 75th birthday party. That was a huge success with over 125 people there to celebrate her life and the legacy she has built. We celebrated at the beautiful San Marcos hotel in Chandler's historic district. It was great to see so many loved ones in one place. Being 2,000 miles away can make you value time with family far more than being in the same state.

This trip to Arizona was very emotional for me. I think it forced me to face the fact that I am very homesick and how much a I dearly love the west. I think I've convinced myself each time we've moved why this new place is better than the last. While there are so many wonderful things here in South Carolina (good school system for the kids, great programs for the kids, photography opportunities for me, classes, business opportunities... to name a few), I really miss my parents terribly. I don't like to use the word "hate", but I can honestly say there are times I HATE being so far away. I've also wondered about our journey and whether parts of it were necessary or not. I think mostly just wanting to see God's hand at work and some kind of reassurance from Him.

So as we packed up and headed back to the beautiful East coast, I was so full of conflicting emotions. So sad to leave some of the people I love the most. But optimistic and excited about Bryant's new school year and my photography business that is begining to blossom. I'm looking forward to taking more classes and minor things like landscaping our yard, but there are some strong heart strings that keep pulling my thoughts back to Arizona. I was feeling torn.

As we headed home on the long plane flight I sat wondering why went to Grand Canyon, only to leave Arizona again and now I'm homesick. What a fickle person I am. God must look at me as a problem child sometimes! I guess my only consolation is that He has us in mind and He wouldn't lead us anywhere without being with us each step of the way and having a plan. I trust He has a plan for our lives and it's a good one. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I came home to a very full inbox of e-mails. I began sorting through and found a very surprising e-mail from a sweet girl that I knew from Grand Canyon. I had never gotten an e-mail from her before and wondered how she got my address. She and I went through a short phase of writing letters after she moved off to college. She had fallen into a time in her life shadowed by rebellion and drugs. Her mom was in my women's Bible study group and I can't tell you how many times she pleaded with tears running down her cheeks for prayer for her beautiful young daughter. I had such a burden for this young lady maybe because I could feel her mom's pain and maybe because she reminded me a little of myself at that age. Last I heard from this girl, she was asking God a lot of questions and had some hurt and anger towards Christianity in general. Here's a small section of the e-mail I got from her:

"In the midst of my frustrating search (for a cd), I came upon a shoebox that I had stuffed letters and cards in and that's when I came across a letter you had sent me almost two years ago. It all came together and tears welled up in my eyes. I could hardly believe that I would forget about the short time we wrote letters back and forth. When I read the letter I realized how much God has worked on me since then, and I hadn't even realized how far I have come. Around March I renewed my faith in Christ and since then, He has been hard at work. I was re-baptized on June 16 this summer. The last two or three days I've been asking God to reveal more of Himself to me, I have been wanting to see more and know more of Him. And it's funny how He just pops up like a jack-in-the-box and says yeah, hi, told you I was here for you. Surprises are always fun. In your letter you said "God can open our eyes immensely when we give Him a bit of our time and attention" and I have been learning this more and more and more since I gave my life back to Christ.
Overall, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write me and pray for me. I will honestly tell you that at the time, I appreciated your efforts but rejected the thoughts you had to offer me...now I just want you to know that this letter has impacted me more than you know. God used you in my life and I didn't even know it until 2 years after I received this letter. Thanks for the love, I could still feel the love in the words you wrote when i read the letter today and that means so much. And you quoted Jeremiah 29:11 a couple times...this verse has been a guiding and encouraging light on my path to seeking the Lord."

As if this encouraging e-mail wasn't enough, I received another unexpected e-mail from a dear lady who also was in Bible study with me at GC. She often would ask for prayer for her mom who was in a nursing home and who became a believer at the age of 87 (never give up, right?). It was a painful road for my friend Dianna who was so thankful that her mom excepted the Lord, but still wanted her mom to see God's goodness, trust Him and grow in His ways. This is hard enough for those of us who trust the Lord at a young age, not to mention someone closing in on 90! Dianna and I have kept in touch here and there since I moved. Everytime I think of Dianna, I can't help but to think about her mom and I've been compelled to pray for her because I know she is so dear to Dianna. Here's part of another amazing e-mail that waited for me in my inbox:

"Our three days with mom was a precious time and the hardest thing was to leave mom last Thursday believing I would likely not see her again this side of heaven. Mom's physical decline went very quick and hospice did a good job keeping her at a comfortable level and with alertness until the last few days. When I called mom Saturday a.m. the caregivers told me that mom was not responding to them at all and that was the first day she didn't accept water or food. They put the phone to mom's ear and I told her we were all thinking of her and loved her. Later in the afternoon, I FELT led to call her and read Psalm 23 to her and again the caregivers told me she hadn't been responding to them. I explained I still wanted to read to her and they put the phone to her ear. I very carefully read the Psalm verses, The Lord is my Shepherd...........and told her I loved her and waited for the caregiver to speak to me before saying goodbye...I heard mom breathing and trying to speak......The caregiver explained that mom's eyes were opened and she was hearing me and the caregiver encouraged me to continue to talk to mom, so of course I said OK! Then I prayed with mom thanking the Lord for so many things including the love that surrounded her at that moment in her senior home and our family, our own forgiveness and the healing and good memories I was left with. I then prayed for God to send angels into her room to escort her away to heaven with a new heavenly body when she was ready to go, with no more worries......... Then I heard the caregivers repeating mom's name over and over and I knew something was happening. They came back on the phone to tell me while I was praying with mom, they thought she took her last breaths and passed away -- -- and she did. What a beautiful gift that though I was miles away, God brought us together with spontaneous prayer by phone and mom breathed her last breath on earth. My prayer had been that God would take mom in her sleep peacefully BUT God had a better plan to include me and the caregivers that had grown to love her. What a witness it was. There are other "God things" that came to pass in those last days and I am truly in AWE of how God does work things together for those of us who love Him! For now, know God has answered prayers beyond belief with mom's salvation at age 87 (2 yrs ago) and my faith is only strengthened in spite of the hard road we traveled together. I am at peace and mom's wishes were to be cremated and scattered at sea (as my step dad was) and we will gather as a family in the future at some point. For now, it is well with my soul!! and moms too!!!"

I have been in such a time of wondering if I am totally missing the boat when it comes to God's direction. Sometimes I wonder why on earth we've had to move so much. Did we hear Him incorrectly? Have we made any connections that meant anything to anyone? Then I got these e-mails and although I don't have all the answers, I can see God at work. That is better than answered questions to me! I was so encouraged by these e-mails because I could clearly see God working in the lives of people I had the humbling priviledge to pray specifically for. These two e-mails revealed to me that when we are willing, God will use us. We may not see fruit for years, but God hears our prayers. It has encouraged me to keep praying for the ones I love so much. May we never give up on the hope we have in Christ!

"The LORD directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives."
Psalm 37:23 NLT